Understanding Baby Loss and the Impact on Fathers: A Call for Compassionate Perinatal Mental Health Support in Inverness and Beyond
At Highland Psychological Services, we understand that baby loss is one of the most profound and life-altering events a parent can experience. While much of the conversation around perinatal mental health has (rightly) centred on mothers, fathers and non-birthing partners—especially those in LGBTQ+ families—can often be left navigating their grief alone and unsupported.
Our perinatal mental health therapy services in Inverness and online are available to help both men and women process the complex emotions that accompany baby loss, including guilt, shame, isolation, and profound sadness.
Grief in Fathers: Often Unseen, Always Valid
Research and lived experiences show that bereaved fathers may face unique challenges in the grieving process. Often expected to be emotionally strong or to support their partner at the expense of their own wellbeing, many fathers experience what Doka (1999) calls disenfranchised grief—grief that is not socially acknowledged, mourned, or supported.
This is especially true for LGBTQ+ parents, who may face additional societal barriers when seeking validation or support. Many individuals describe feeling deeply overwhelmed by a powerful mix of love and grief. Often, they are unprepared for the sheer intensity of their loss, and the profound sense of isolation that can accompany it.
In regions like the Highlands, where mental health services may be harder to access, these feelings can be even more isolating.
Masculine Norms and the Silence of Grief
Fathers often describe feelings of shame, self-blame, or disconnection following the death of their baby. These emotions are sometimes worsened by rigid gender expectations—men are often taught to “be strong,” “keep going,” and to suppress their grief in favour of protecting others.
According to Sands (2019), many men also experience delayed or complicated grief, and up to 33% develop PTSD symptoms after the loss of a baby (McCreight, 2004). Despite this, few seek therapy or even know that therapy for baby loss is available and valid for them too.
A Need for Inclusive, Accessible Support in the Highlands
Here at Highland Psychological Services in Inverness, we are passionate about filling that gap.
We provide inclusive perinatal mental health therapy for men and women, both in-person and online, tailored to the needs of those grieving in the Highlands and beyond. Whether you are a biological parent, a non-birthing partner, or navigating the complexities of LGBTQ+ parenting and loss, you deserve support that is validating, compassionate, and tailored to your lived experience.
Creating Space for Fathers’ Grief
“Fathers who cannot find meaning in the loss of their baby may be more likely to face debilitating, prolonged grief that is hard to move beyond.”
Our therapists in Inverness and online can help fathers explore what their loss means, reconstruct a narrative of hope, and begin to reconnect with life after grief. This can involve creative and compassionate work—rebuilding identity, acknowledging the child’s memory, and gently working through feelings that may have gone unspoken for years.
In therapy, men often rediscover their emotional language, find space to reflect, and ultimately come to a more peaceful relationship with their grief.
We’re Here to Help
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief after baby loss, reach out. We offer a safe, confidential space for all genders and parenting identities to process perinatal grief.
Therapy can’t take away the pain of loss—but it can offer you a way to move through it with support, compassion, and hope. Explore whether perinatal mental health therapy could support you in our services page.